Oops should read Iraqi militants use MS Paint
http://www.lonestartimes.com/content/images/soldier.jpg
http://www.lonestartimes.com/content/images/toysoldier.jpg
http://www.drudgereport.com/toyhead.jpg

How F'n pathetic is that?!

Yeah I saw this as I accessed AIM today. A little story popped up like it was true too. I thought it was for a second until the face in the photo looked fishy. I thought his “wax like” figure made him look like plastic or that maybe he was a pissed heat casualty.

I love the camo finish on the M4. People from DEVGRU and CAG have a hard time getting those highspeed finishes. I also like the fact there’s no magazine in the well and he’s still wearing an LBE vest that’s two sizes big.

http://cnn.worldnews.printthis.clickability.com/pt/cpt?action=cpt&title=CNN.com+-+U.S.+military%3A+No+soldier+missing+in+Iraq+-+Feb+1%2C+2005&expire=03%2F3%2F2005&urlID=13075944&fb=Y&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2005%2FWORLD%2Fmeas t%2F02%2F01%2Firaq.hostage.ap%2Findex.html&partnerID=2006

One last thing... any true solider knows that those kneepads would be around the ankles by then ;)

So the election has people dancing in the streets and the best the militants can come up with is lets take a picture of a toy and say we captured an American?! I would have loved to been a fly on the wall for that meeting.

So the election has people dancing in the streets and the best the militants can come up with is lets take a picture of a toy and say we captured an American?! I would have loved to been a fly on the wall for that meeting.


My thoughts exactly.

This makes them look much, much worse and desperate.

President Bush has illegally deployed Toy Soldiers to Iraq who were underequipped and ill trained, thus this captured toy. Knowing the President's cowboy ways, more than likely G.I. Joe will be re-deployed from the Cobra Command theater in order to mount a rescue mission. Though a spokeperson for Mattel was unable to confirm or deny that story. On a side note John Kerry stated he was for Action figures in Iraq prior to being against them.

President Bush has illegally deployed Toy Soldiers to Iraq who were underequipped and ill trained, thus this captured toy. Knowing the President's cowboy ways, more than likely G.I. Joe will be re-deployed from the Cobra Command theater in order to mount a rescue mission. Though a spokeperson for Mattel was unable to confirm or deny that story. On a side note John Kerry stated he was for Action figures in Iraq prior to being against them.

LOL

Hahaha, I have to admit that's hilarious.

Military officials notified the captured soldiers wife this afternoon
http://www.mysite4u.com/toys/gijoe/images/Dsc00027_jpg.jpg

She then enlisted
http://www.angel.ne.jp/~gomyo/Barbie/CollectionDolls/Army/ArmyBarbie_face.jpg

Her sister was already in the Navy and has asked for re-assignment to the SEALs
http://www008.upp.so-net.ne.jp/kaz-pb/BEAUTYS/PB13/13_07.jpg

Hahahaha...do you play with dolls still ?

Al Jazeera Barbie stated that the streets will flow with the melted plastic of the non-believers
http://www.sptimes.com/2004/01/12/images/medium/WEB_0_Fulla2_175722_0112.jpg

Hahahaha...do you play with dolls still ?
Why? Do you want to borrow some?

We don't need a reminder of what Islamic militants do to American dolls
http://www.unbsj.ca/arts/english/jones/media/mt/off.gif

Hahaha, you know it! I have to put some of them in hippie-commune style clothes and give them "No war for oil" signs hahaha

Some toys chanted no plastic for oil (smell the irony)
http://linka-web.com/laraza/imagenes/imagenes_secciones/graciosas/barbie_hippie.jpg

Luckily most people realized they were on crack
http://www.thesunmachine.net/image_archive/archive/cookd/crackbarbie.jpg

Hahahaha...Mattel and BushJr would be proud to have such a display.

Her sister was already in the Navy and has asked for re-assignment to the SEALs
http://www008.upp.so-net.ne.jp/kaz-pb/BEAUTYS/PB13/13_07.jpg

I'd hit it. ;)

-Chris

this thread is hilarious

This thread is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. :) It looks like that first pic was taken in front of a curb.

This picture will appeal to Dre and Psoper more:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v282/sierra11b/toys.jpg

haha good show!

Ha ha ha.



Ha ha ha ha ha.

That's art.

Mattel is the only company in the region that does not have ransom insurance for its employees.

Mattel is the only company in the region that does not have ransom insurance for its employees.

What the **** is Mattel doing in that part of the world!?

it'd be even better if some kind of bug was walking into the pic.





OMG!!!1! that ant is ginormous!!

Bestest thread EVAR!!!!!!!!

This made my damn day!!!!

We only have about 24 hours left to meet the kidnappers' demands and release our prisoners! I, for one, do not want to see this poor action figure beheaded!! Of course, if we meet their demands that will only encourage these animals to kidnap more of our action figures. What are we to do?

They are torturing him!!!!
http://www.hazza316.co.uk/b3ta/stretch.gif

They are torturing him!!!!
http://www.hazza316.co.uk/b3ta/stretch.gif


BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

:rotfl: :rotfl:

This just in
http://powerlineblog.com/archives/elmo.jpg

Imagine you watching al jazeera and finding out it's a plastic doll. Man, that's a major mind-fubar!

This just in
http://powerlineblog.com/archives/elmo.jpg

AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

G.I. Joe is keeping a diary

19 January 2005: The Slinky betrayed us. I should have known. I never trusted him. He was an unstable character, always going back and forth, back and forth, never showing a shred of backbone. "Come, senor, I know the way to the insurgents' headquarters," he rasped. The fact that he was an Arab toy speaking with a stereotypical Spanish accent should have tipped me off. But hindsight is always 20/20. Literally. I can turn my head 360 degrees.


I only knew my men by their code names, but even in that short space of time we shared a bond that only six-inch plastic combatants can truly understand. They were my family, my brothers in petroleum-based products. One night we all melted the tips of our fingers and became plastic brothers.



And I led those brave action figures into the trap.



"My spider-sense is tingling," muttered "Peter Parker," as he flexed his fingers on his M16. We were all on edge, and our quirks were coming to the fore. "Prince Adam" kept waving his weapon in the air, hollering "By the power of Grayskull!" Damn Wiccans. "Hugh Jackman" had huddled deeply into his trenchcoat, whispering "Am I Wolverine or Van Helsing?" to anyone who made the mistake of standing next to him. And "Elmo" kept singing his goofy song. "Elmo loves his rifle/His bullets, too…"



The insurgents caught us by surprise in that deserted Iraqi backyard. BBs perforated the sullen quiet of the hot Iraqi afternoon. Firecrackers sizzled and roared around us in a symphony of extremity-disintegrating horror. Mean little kids stomped us with the hard soles of their brand-new Keds -- weapons of mass destruction. And the gentlest one of us all lost it completely. "Elmo is thinking about genocide!" he screamed, as he unleashed a hail of foam darts upon our adversaries. "Elmo is Death, destroyer of worlds!" War does awful things to toys.



I tried to remember my training. My old drill sergeant, G.I. Joe, had put me through worse than this. "Are you gonna MOR yet, maggot?" he would scream, as he tied me to the wheel of a 10-speed Schwinn. (MOR: Melted On Request.) 'Sir, no, sir!" I would scream, even as the gravel scraped the paint off my face. He pushed me and prodded me, but he made me the action figure I am today. Just before Water Survival training, he gave me a piece of advice I'll always remember: "Son, when you get right down to it, you have no nerve endings." Then he flushed me down the toilet.



A repulsive splatting sound above my head brought me back to the present. "Gas! GAS!" We scrambled in vain for our gas masks as a haze of vaporous death descended upon us. Mustard gas? Try beans and broccoli. The last thing I remember was the leering visage of our hated enemy, the puppet master of al Qaeda, peering down on us.



The CIA lied. The bombs in Bora Bora hadn't killed him after all.



Evil Bert. The legends were true.



24 January 2005: The interrogators were relentless. But I gave them only my name, rank, and UPC code.



They mocked my fear. "It better here than American prison, yes? We read all about atrocities performed on Iraqi action figure POWs."



"What happened at the Island of Misfit Toys," I hissed, "was not policy. That was just some crazy rogue reindeer, screwing around unsupervised. Santa Claus will still be confirmed by 75-80 votes in the Senate."



As I huddle in the shoebox that will soon define the four corners of my world, my thoughts turn to my wife, Barbie; my brother, Fireman Rescue Hero; and my son, Lego Luke Skywalker. I must be strong for them.



I've had to be strong all my life. It's hard to be a poor plastic kid in a video-game world, and even harder when you're an immigrant -- I was made in China. My mother was a Chinese novelty factory and my father was a petroleum by-products distributor who just played around with my mother and then disappeared. Nobody wanted a soldier toy in Clinton's nineties, so I made my way playing minimum-wage gigs like "Thug #3" in the Hudson Hawk action figure line. But after a shameful night of drinking nail polish remover and driving a Mattel remote-control car full of underage Jem sidekicks into a telephone pole, a judge gave me a choice: an Army enlistment, or a Goodwill box. I chose the former.



The elite Action Figure corps took me for my menacing glower, sculpted abs, and gift for languages. After taking several crash language courses at the Army facility in Monterrey, I could speak all the major tongues. Monchichi. Teddy Bear. Cabbage Patch. Smurf.



The rubber bands chafe my wrists, and I haven't had a decent meal from an Easy-Bake oven in days. My Eastern-European-looking guard is clear proof that the Russians are helping the insurgents. He's always shrieking "One! One captured American soldier! Ha ha ha!" Then he counts my grenades, over and over again.



I'll get you for this, Evil Bert.



31 January 2005: Today my captors took my picture outside, in front of a special banner that was deliberately repetitive and misspelled in order to honor the stuttering illiterates of Iraq.



"Is good," said Evil Bert, sounding like a cross between Andy Kaufman and Dr. Nick Riviera. "Now decadent American press will see picture on our website and report that live American soldier held captive. Momentum from election blunted. Boxer-Kennedy win in 2008!"



"No chance, you unibrowed monster," I growled. "There's no way that America's mainstream media would ever fall for such a ruse. The second you post that picture on the Internet, crack investigative teams from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune and The New York Times and, above all, CBS News will be on hand to check facts, verify data, and offer uncompromising insights into the validity of your photograph, even if doing so will force them to lose a potential scoop while indirectly aiding the Bush administration."



"No, no," replied Evil Bert, "American soldier not use humor to build bond between himself and captors. You funny guy, soldier boy, but we still gonna blend you in Cuisinart."



"It doesn't matter what you do, because the validity of those elections still stands. You think all of those blue fingers are manufacturing defects? Iraq has embraced democracy, Mr. What's-Your-Thing-With-Ernie, and the fate of one action figure won't change anything."



Evil Bert grabbed his turban from his head and threw it to the ground. "Screw you, action figure! There was no real election… the TV footage is all fake! Blue ink is easy to distribute! And election invalid anyway because not enough Sunnis voted. And Supreme Court may call for recount. And New York Times still not convinced. And…and…Jews! All their fault! Everything their fault! Jews! And Ernie only Platonic friend! Backrubs and handholding not any big deal! Ooooh…stupid American!" He stormed off.



1 February 2005: I have bribed a guard to fax this document. (The guard seems to be a hairy Mediterranean fellow with big buggy eyes and a passion for cookies. Strange.) I am sending this fax to the only person I can trust: Lucy Ramirez, somewhere in Texas. If this document appears elsewhere, you'll know that the lying irresponsible blogosphere is to blame.



I've slipped a sharpened staple into my boot. Soon I'll break out of here. I'll get new, better accessories, the kind that aren't legal in the US. Maybe a plastic missile that shoots out of my butt. Yeah, that's the ticket.



I will put out the eyes of Iraqi insurgents with my unsafe features. I will carry on the fight for freedom, one poorly-balanced step at a time. And I will fight for freedom wherever there's trouble.



I am John "Cody" Adam. Soon-to-be-former hostage. American action figure. And damned proud of it.

^^^^^^^

"The insurgents caught us by surprise in that deserted Iraqi backyard. BBs perforated the sullen quiet of the hot Iraqi afternoon. Firecrackers sizzled and roared around us in a symphony of extremity-disintegrating horror. Mean little kids stomped us with the hard soles of their brand-new Keds -- weapons of mass destruction. And the gentlest one of us all lost it completely. "Elmo is thinking about genocide!" he screamed, as he unleashed a hail of foam darts upon our adversaries. "Elmo is Death, destroyer of worlds!" War does awful things to toys.
"


BRAVO!!

On a more serious note about AlJazera:

Everyone should watch Control room: very interesting and eye opening documentary on the views of people in that part of the world, and on how AlJazera really runs.

oh...this isn't the sequel to team america: world police?