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-   -   Oompa loompa (https://www.i-club.com/forums/bay-area-15/oompa-loompa-191936/)

JOEBOBBUCKET 09-26-2008 10:48 AM

Oompa loompa
 
So I have my own office but there is a extra desk in it because my office is pretty big and everyone else in the building has to share a office with another person except me. The extra desk is there incase we have someone here for a meeting etc that needs a place to work for a little bit. Our group hired a Oompa loompa and it started on Wednesday. I normally would not care that Oompa loompa is here but it seems to be wearing some sort of purfume that I am allergic to. I normally do not have any allergy issues here at work but since it has been here I have been sneezing like crazy. I was introduced to it on Wednesday morning and told that it would be sitting at the extra desk in my office that afternoon. Yesterday this Oompa loompa walks in and sits down at the desk. so I find out that its office would be ready on monday. At first I was thinking ok not that big of a deal, I knew I would only be here at work for a half day and I initially had a few meeting I was suppoed to go to yesterday (they got cancelled). So at this point I am sitting in my office with this Oompa loompa in my periphials and it is not so great. It thinks its hot stuff and wears clothes that it should not be wearing. I am not saying I am some prize but I am not wearing shirts that show off my massive guns or my huge moobs (man boobs). Yesterday this little character came in with green eye shadow (I had to ask another coworker what it was), a green and black zebra print blouse and a black skirt and hooker boots. The skirt was rather tight on this rather round short Oompa loompa and it had a slit that went up the center of the back. If it went any higher I would have had the displeasure of seeing the grand canyon. Today I am here for another hour and this thing is making me sneeze and keeps talking to me. I am about ready to start siniging the song to it. I think I might sing it as I am walking down the hall on my way out.

Discuss...

DetailAddict 09-26-2008 10:51 AM

:lol: no words... just :lol:

rau 09-26-2008 10:53 AM

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good god Daniel. you have that locking dumpster right outside of the door.....


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You know what to do..... just make sure it doesn't bleed country gravy on you. Ian would eat you alive :laugh:

pink-i-wagon 09-26-2008 10:54 AM

ttiwwp

rau 09-26-2008 10:55 AM

[QUOTE=pink-i-wagon;2338057]ttiwwp[/QUOTE]

you don't want that.......

JOEBOBBUCKET 09-26-2008 10:55 AM

[QUOTE=pink-i-wagon;2338057]ttiwwp[/QUOTE]

I would post pictures but I am afraid the rest of you would go blind.

R-Dub 09-26-2008 10:58 AM

Dress up like Willy Wonka and play the flute every time they walk bye.

sigma pi 09-26-2008 10:58 AM

just lay down a good fart

/story

kYLEMtnCRUZr 09-26-2008 10:59 AM

no dont sing oompa loompa to it, just hum it super subliminally.

Go to some Nasa guy and ask for a high pitch keyboard that is barely out of the human hearing spectrum and play the tune on loop and go to lunch.

If you do it right, you will come back to find a pile of ashes, and all the ever-lasting gobstoppers that little sonofa B has ever stolen from Wonka!

sigma pi 09-26-2008 11:01 AM

how tall are we talking?

wombatsauce 09-26-2008 11:03 AM

I sit next to our office Hobbit, who shares a cube with an Indian man who listens to music all day and.... Hums/moans along to it loudly. I have recently taken up smoking.

JOEBOBBUCKET 09-26-2008 11:04 AM

[QUOTE=R-Dub;2338065]Dress up like Willy Wonka and play the flute every time they walk bye.[/QUOTE]

haha

[QUOTE=sigma pi;2338066]just lay down a good fart

/story[/QUOTE]

I did drink a fair amount last night and I had to go drop the kids off at the pool earlier but I did let go of a couple wind storms before I went to the bathroom. The ones that are fresh off the turd smell the best...

[QUOTE=kYLEMtnCRUZr;2338067]no dont sing oompa loompa to it, just hum it super subliminally.

Go to some Nasa guy and ask for a high pitch keyboard that is barely out of the human hearing spectrum and play the tune on loop and go to lunch.

If you do it right, you will come back to find a pile of ashes, and all the ever-lasting gobstoppers that little sonofa B has ever stolen from Wonka![/QUOTE]

We used to have a science teacher that we would walk in humming the song too. But that one never gave me any gobstoppers.

rau 09-26-2008 11:04 AM

[QUOTE=wombatsauce;2338080]I sit next to our office Hobbit, who shares a cube with an Indian man who listens to music all day and.... Hums/moans along to it loudly. I have recently taken up smoking.[/QUOTE]

I would recently take up stealth kills, man......

JOEBOBBUCKET 09-26-2008 11:06 AM

[QUOTE=sigma pi;2338072]how tall are we talking?[/QUOTE]

5' ish give or take a little

[QUOTE=wombatsauce;2338080]I sit next to our office Hobbit, who shares a cube with an Indian man who listens to music all day and.... Hums/moans along to it loudly. I have recently taken up smoking.[/QUOTE]

I get to listen to a wind tunnel and Arc Jets and jets taking off at the runway, and the roof construction on our building.

JourdanWithaU 09-26-2008 11:06 AM

Sounds like you got mini Mimi from the Drew Cary show...


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