Yesterday started out like any other day of this pregnancy. I was sick as a dog. My happy *** stumbled into the doctors around 10am only to be told I have almost no lung capacity left, bronchitis and a sinus infections. YAY!!!! The next hour was spent trying to decided what medicine they could give me and not deform the child……..needless to say, I am now getting my alcohol fix in at 3.5% in a palatable syrup format, with codeine, all okayed by my doctor

Next on the to do list is the “mid pregnancy class” this I decided Mr. Xevious must attend with me. Not because I want him there or need his support, only because I deem it as punishment at this point for not having retarded sperm. Here we learn about how the child inside me is really trying to kill me. Did you know that my stomach is now the size of a shoe string and is currently located behind my breasts? Don’t worry folks, by the time this kid is done cooking the stomach will be almost in my throat. My small and large bowels are now where my tummy once was, only they have about 1/8 of the space to fit into that they normally fit into. Hahahahaha no wonder I am constipated and farting my brains out. Oh and we learned about exercises, I must do 50 kegels a day. 50 you say….Haha I do none!!!

See all that means nothing, well almost nothing, until you factor in the sick part and all the meds I get to take.

Now comes night fall. I can finally lay down and take my meds. Don’t worry baby, I will give you a fix.

Uhoh, what was that……..I just puked in the trash can. Never fear, that is easy to clean up. Mr. Xevious comes in removes the trash bag and places another one. Pats me on the head and says “there there”. Aww you say how sweet, what a great guy. Well I am no great wife, I wait till I hear him in the middle of a battle in WoW and decided, hey lets lean over the bed to get a book.

OPPS!!!! The puke just starts to flow out of me. All I have to do is cry **** and that dumb man comes running. “You ok” “no I threw up” “where?..................oh, ewwwwwww” yes that’s right all over the floor.

Mr. Xevious gets me into the tub, cleans up the floor and heads back to his computer game. Silly man, you don’t get to play computer games. Now all red and toasty from my bath I sit naked on the edge of our once love making bed. Uhoh, is that a sneeze I feel coming on, “Oh ****” and yes Mr. Xevious comes running again, only to see me running for the bathroom. “you throw up again?” “No I peed the bed this time” “Oh so this is why you are suppose to do those kegels, ehh?” “Shut up and change the sheets”

And this kids, is why not to have sex. Stay tuned and in a few months I will tell you what it is like to squeeze Mr. Xevious’s head out of my hoohoo.

 

Eek..... Sign me up permenantly to NEVER EVER have kids. Not to mention a Deede as a mom is definately not a good idea.

But congratulations to you guys though.

 

I keep telling Jenny she doesn't really want to have kids, let alone give birth, I still have a ot of convinceing to do! lol

 

Wow.

Since none of us knew about the pregnancy (at least officially), I'll take this opportunity to say "congratulations" and "thanks for sharing."

 

Ditto

 

Now that I've read this in more detail, I can't decide which thread is worse: this one or the blow by blow description of Dan's snot.

 

this one is worse.. I had to live it

 

Wow. I'm gonna get started on building that staircase for the backyard. Once a month Josey falls.

 

Congrats!
Scott, please keep detailed notes on the best vomit mops, stain cleaners and odor removers. This could be the one and only time that the rest of us may learn something worthwhile from you...

 

Thanks guys I thought Scotty had told you all, Aaron knew and all and I guess I just thought Scotty had said something by now.

I have been pretty sick, a few scares in the beginning, had to have toe surgery and now this new stuff. Scotty has been staying home with me on Saturday nights because I just don’t feel like going anywhere or doing anything.

We are having a girl in June

 

Awesome! Congrats!

 

Scott doesn't talk to us anymore. Everyone thinks it's your fault.

 

I blame soggy.

 

I think she has clearly expressed that she thinks it's his fault

 

congradulations Mr. and Mrs. Xevious